Feminism has been in the news quite a lot lately. Women on both sides of the political spectrum have come out swinging and news services have been lapping it up like cream. Candace Cameron-Bure was recently lambasted by the media and others for stating her choice to be an at home mom and a “submissive” wife. She was labeled a ‘housewife’, that despicable term so denigrated by the feminists and those that believe in the girl-power agenda. Other women who have come forward and declared their choice to eschew a career and raise a family have received equal treatment by these self styled feminists. That is a deplorable way to treat anyone let alone someone who made a life choice.
Feminism did have a downside, whether you want to believe it or not, practical problems arose from women flooding the workforce. One of those problems is a breakdown in the family unit and what used to be known as latchkey kids. Those children who came home to an empty house until their parents came home from work. While they used to be an exception, forced by necessity of single parent homes, they no longer have a name other than normal.The breakdown comes due to parental involvement parents are busy working, when they get home domestic duties need to be done, supper, homework finished then its bedtime. Not much time left for family, we now have family time, family game-night, family movie night, and other ways to try and compensate.
What the feminists forgot however was that the fight is for equal rights for women, the ability to vote, make decisions, own property, equal protection under the law, equal pay, and to be able to choose our destinies for ourselves. The fight was not about whether you chose to work or stay home, it never was. Those who stay home are not somehow less than those who choose a career. And no, those who choose to stay home do not believe that men are superior and that they must stay home and pregnant and acquiesce to every decision of ‘the man’. This is not an all or nothing stance. Marriage is a partnership, always has been. This is the case whether the partner is the same sex or not. And like it or not one partner is usually dominant, now by dominant I don’t mean always in charge and laying down the law. Just like Candace Cameron-Bure did not mean submissive as oppressed and in chains never able to choose for herself. I don’t see anyone heckling those dominant career women in the media whose husbands are lapdogs.
Almost all relationships, and in this I include friendships, parent-child, siblings, and marriages, one half is more dominant, it may be a 45/55 split but it is there. That is how relationships work, and trust me, this is okay. We all know people that are naturally more inclined to take the lead, and those who are more inclined to follow. Again, this is okay, all part of the human experience. What I am opposing is the ‘if you don’t agree with me 100% then you must be against me 100%’ mentality of the detractors. Mrs. Cameron-Bure did not single-handedly set back Women’s Rights by 80 years. She made a life-choice for herself. she seems happy with her decision, she did not force anyone to make the same decision, let it go.
When our son was small, I chose to stay home with him, our life worked at the time that I was able to do this. During the day while my husband worked outside the home, I worked inside the home. All of those domestic duties, you know, washing clothes, cleaning the bathroom, dishes, preparing meals, chasing the little guy (and lots of playtime with him) were done by the time my husband came home from work. When he got home we ate and then we had time to spend together as a family, hours together no rushing to get stuff finished. Unfortunately all too soon, I had to go to work too, as one income is rarely enough to get by on. We had to join the ranks of the majority and when I got home from work, we rushed to get housework, homework, and supper done just to have a half an hour before bedtime to just spend together. Thankfully my husband began working from home and he was able to be there when our son came home from school, he was available to pick him up from school when he wasn’t feeling well, and yes he did some of the housework when he had time (I respected his decision to work from home, I must have been submissive).
The point is we all make choices for ourselves, whether that choice is to be submissive (or dominant), to stay at home or have a career, to love who we love to marry whom we choose. I am thankful for the feminist movement that gave me the choice to work and vote and enjoy all rights and privileges. Now that we have a choice, let us choose how we will, not necessarily how you want. If we choose how others wanted we really would set the movement back 100 years.